"This of course had the opposite effect of what Shelly had expected. The guys accepted her little speech as a challenge and were now more than ever de...ermined to get into Shelly's pants. They even formed a pool, each placing two hundred dollars in it with the man being the first to score walking away with the twelve hundred dollars. The result was that Shelly was asked out even more often. The guys had also noticed that the more alcohol they could get into Shelly the longer the make out. “Jake asked you to keep him company, but then you both just ignore each other. Well, except for when Jake looks over at you worshipfully.”Jake laughed. “Just Jan’s presence comforts me. How’s your sister?”“She fell asleep.”“I wish we could let her nap, but Ellen and I are entertaining an admirer of hers tonight. Having a debauched girl rouse herself in the middle of dinner wouldn’t set the right kind of tone. I want this guy to realize that he has to treat Ellen with respect.”“I’ll go wake her. One afternoon when arriving home from school Billy sees a black Corvette parked in the driveway. He goes into the house to see his mother on the couch snorting cocaine with a guy he had never seen before.“Who the fuck is this!?” Billy asked loudly with annoyance in his voice.“Honey, and this is Mitch “The Bitchmaker” Mitchell from Rockhard Records.” His mother said to wipe the blow off of her nose.“Hey kid, that was a great demo you guys sent out, I’m here to offer you and your band a record. On the one side, in the other semi-detached half were a young couple, and on the other an old and very decrepit bungalow occupied by an old lady. Except she wasn't. She was in fact a bloke, something which everyone knew because when he moved there he was a bloke called Dave, and at a point in time put on a wig, frock, and high heels and called him, or her, self Elsie. You can, by the way, usually tell a transvestite because they mow the lawn in high heels. Aerates the grass too.The young couple.
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