I held my own memorial for Leah, thinking that she was dead, while cremating my folks and refusing to even consider a funeral Mass. I was so done with...the Catholic Church that it wasn’t even funny by this point of my life (not that Eileen had that option, anyway, as the Church considered her damned to Hell). I chose to keep my house and just renovate it, as it made a decent investment.Then I sold off much of what Michael owned, though I kept his liquor, and you guessed it, his guns (except the. And the one glimmer of light in my life: my daughter.NO!I almost shouted it in the church. I wouldn’t do this again. I’d kill myself first.And then what? Wake up to start the whole nightmare over again?Maybe ... just maybe ... this was an opportunity to do it right.All I needed to do was decide what would make it right.Fuck!I was a forty-two-year-old woman trapped in my seventeen-year-old body. My head knew all kinds of things jumbled together in a mad chaos of experience and inexperience. I’d. "Hey!" Charlie said, with his ever present smile, "Jump on in and let's get your fat butt in shape!" I am not Fat!" I shot back, patting my not-so six pack. "Just pleasantly well cared for." I've seen your ladies, and well cared for doesn't even come close." He was right, but I wasn't sure I wanted to have that discussion, so I concentrated on getting my lazy self in shape. Benjamin LOVED going out to play. He would run all over which ever field we were using and play until he exhausted. I signed my name so many times, and frankly, I had no idea what it all meant. Well, other than the obvious; that I was soon going to be on my way, wherever that was to be."Jackie, I just clocked out for the day. I can take him downstairs," I heard Theresa say from outside my room."Are you sure? I was just about to call an attendant to come do that." No need. I'm going that way, anyway." Ok," was the last I heard from Jackie. The tone was one of slight amusement.Theresa walked into the room,.
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