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After I paid for our drinks, we both got up to leave. When she stood up, I was startled and blurted out "You're short!"I know that was stupid, and tha... I was being a colossal jerk. I freely admit to being a jerk. I'm a man, and all men are jerks; we vary in degrees of jerkiness, but we're all jerks. It might have something to do with testosterone. On this particular occasion, however, I was being extraordinarily jerky. In my defense though, I was very surprised. I'm 6'2" and she was probably. I have a couple throwing knives ready just for my plan. I get out and walk to the door. I check it to find it is open. I quietly open it heading in hearing Billy begging like a little bitch. I walk in and Mary sees me. She starts to cry and I hear her."Mmm....Matty your home!" My sisters and aunt all turn to see me while Billy gets up He looks at me."Son why didn't you call? I would have come and gotten you." He says while I laugh"Really? The last I remembered you. So when she asked which magazine, I would reply "Playboy."I was rarely challenged, but if I was it was simple to find a recent issue and produce my driver's license. Voila! I'm him! I got one of two responses. The first was cold, like I was some kind of dirtbag. That happened maybe 2% of the time. The other 98%, well, that's what this story is about.One time, I was hanging around a bar that had girls in T-shirts serving beers and chicken wings to guys. The bar was called "Jugs," or something. She reached out for my hand. “None of that matters right now, as I’m here with you.”I nodded and smiled. “Do you like your wine?”“My Pinot Grigio? Duh, it’s yummy!”I saw Marshal in the corner of my eye and thought to give the menu a quick glance.“May I take your order?”I motioned to Sarah. “Ladies first.”“I’ll take the Roasted Lamb Chop and Lamb Sausage-medium rare, and the mashed red potatoes, but hold the chives.”“And for you sir?”“I’ll order the Double H Butcher’s Cut-medium, with fried.
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