Oppression. You are willing me to die but taunt me by keeping my body alive. This IS me. Stop! Harder to concentrate. I can’t think. Bitch. Helples... and angry, a pitiful combination. And you just walk away. 27 June I gaze down the garden path and across to the trees beyond the pond. Sunlight and birdsong. I try to feel something. Anything. There’s no rage left, no anger. But there is nothing to take its place either. I try to hold that thought but I can’t. I know I need you to know that, but. I was on a sales trip to Chicago and was due to fly back home to San Antonio Friday afternoon. Looking out my hotel window I could see the dark threatening clouds; they looked like snow clouds. As I walked into the airport the clouds made good on their threat. We were in a full blown blizzard inside of five minutes. I learned later that it wasn't considered a real blizzard but it was the closest to one I've ever been in. Of course all flights in and out were canceled.Talking to the pretty. And when we do meet four of five times a year for a holiday of a week or two, we are like wild beasts in bed. Maybe all this is holding our marriage together. But last year something happened. My hubby’s holiday was cancelled twice and we had not met for months. We used to do phone sex during these days but things were getting little tense. That was when my hubby suggested something I never expected of him. He asked me if I was feeling like having an affair? If not, I must do it as his next. I still couldn't believe some of it happened, I invited my landlord in to take some pictures of me in exchange for free living. It escalated, and he walked away with a video and a drained set of balls. I laughed as I asked myself what I had become. Did I actually do it for free accommodation, or did I do it because I needed to cut loose as my sister did.I pulled the van into the parking lot of a tall building that I hadn't seen before and after putting the company apron on I grabbed the ID.
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